Adam Kay: What is the harshest thing anyone has said to you? — FLAPSS

The question

What is the harshest thing anyone has said to you?

Originally asked

The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A

A fixed Guardian Q&A prompt asked directly across respondents and years.

You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.

Adam Kay

British comedy writer, author, youtuber, comedian and former physician

Recorded said elsewhere, not written here

A reviewer once called me “artistically bankrupt”, and it doesn’t feel like reviews can get much worse than that.

The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 3 June 2023 source ↗

Others on this question

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Another actress once said to me, “I’ve told you huge lies to make you feel good about yourself.” I’m not going to say who.

Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 6 January 2024 source ↗

Charles Collingwood

In an audition at the Royal Court, this man called out, “Were you trained?”

Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 8 March 2025 source ↗

Penny Lancaster

An English teacher said, “You’ll never make anything of yourself.”

Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 27 September 2025 source ↗

Michelle Visage

I’ve heard it all: too fat, too short, no talent. Those are the things that cut me deep when I was younger, but now they drive me.

Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 20 January 2024 source ↗

More from Adam Kay

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Question What period or moment in your life brought you the most joy? Time & hindsight

In the one photo I’ve seen where my smile looks convincing – I’m four years old, so I’m guessing then. But I just won a Bafta and that felt amazing, too. So, roughly every 40 years.

Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 3 June 2023 source ↗

Question What disappointment has stayed with you longest? Failure & regret

I’ve never been upgraded on a plane.

Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 3 June 2023 source ↗

Question What trait do you most dislike in other people? Values & belief

People who barge into a lift instead of standing aside for anyone exiting should be dipped in kerosene and fired into the sun.

Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 3 June 2023 source ↗

Question Which trait in yourself do you like least? Identity & self

Self-destruction.

Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 3 June 2023 source ↗

Question How would you describe what love feels like to you? Relationships

When my cold toes drain the heat from his warm ones, but he doesn’t mind at all and is happy for our tarsal temperatures to meet in the middle.

Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 3 June 2023 source ↗

Question If you could revise one chapter of your past, what would you change? Failure & regret

I could have done without being sexually assaulted, or having an eating disorder, or pushing myself to breaking point, but every chapter of my life brought me here.

Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 3 June 2023 source ↗

More on failure & regret

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