I can see myself making this grand plan of finding everyone and telling them all how much I love them. However, instead I find myself in bed at 3pm and I’ve slept for half the day. I would probably make grand plans and then just oversleep. So I think it could go two ways. I could try and be generous and get together with the people that I’m close to and tell them all how much they mean to me. But at the same time that’s also really egocentric as I’m about to die and therefore the more I make them love me, the more pain they’ll be in. So I think I’ll skip that just because I’m selfless. So I’d go to my enemies and tell them how much I hate them all. I could be as rude to them as I want as I know that I’m going to have the last word anyway. But my enemy list isn’t that long and I wouldn’t be that cruel, just the odd harsh word and kick in the ass.

I think that dying might bring about a profound loneliness. I don’t feel lonely in life, but I do think this would be a very hard discovery at the end. Assuming there might be a time of consciousness, I think that serious medication might be a help. Not to put me out, but to smooth things over. The last time I had surgery, the anesthesiologist visited me in Recovery and gave me a sheet of paper on which was listed all of the drugs he had administered. I was glad to get it after the surgery, since I went down the list thinking, That’s what killed Michael Jackson, that’s what killed Prince. I don’t take recreational drugs, never did, but I would like to have the option of taking the edge off of fear. People I love at my bedside—I don’t see that being a comfort, but a reminder of who I’ll be losing. Music might be welcome. I could imagine wanting to hear Jorma Kaukonen sing “Genesis.”

I’d need instant satellite communication on my website and a camera. The achievement now would be to channel the last songs before I drop the body. If I was healthy and not ill I would like to spend the hours composing on camera online with as many people that wanted to experience the last day of song writing.

No, I’m completely out of reading scripts. This has become a surreal experience. My days are unpredictable. I used to think my life would be like that, but I could never practice unpredictability and spontaneity. That has happened now. I don’t plan. I go for breakfast and then I don’t have a plan. I take things as they come. That has been really helping me a lot. I don’t make plans. I’m just spontaneous. And I’m loving this experience. There was something missing in my life. I was feeling a little manipulated by myself, by my own mind. There was a kind of disharmony in myself. It was bothering me. And I think this is what I was missing, this spontaneity. I know because we live in a world that is packed with plans, it sounds unrealistic. How could you live your life like that? But life is so mysterious and has so much to offer, we don’t really try things. And I’m trying and I’m loving it. I’m in a really fortunate state.

'Abracadabra' – I just like it! Spike Milligan's was the best; 'I told you I was ill!'