To be able to play the piano like Artur Schnabel.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 15 April 2017 source ↗
Originally asked
The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A
This is a standing question in The Guardian's decades-long The Q&A and also recurs independently in career and life interviews.
You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.
The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 10 November 2018 source ↗
To be able to play the piano like Artur Schnabel.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 15 April 2017 source ↗
In African families, you can be one of three things: a doctor, a lawyer or a failure. I wanted to be an Egyptologist, but things worked out in the end.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 24 December 2022 source ↗
To work in a dry cleaner’s.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 27 November 2021 source ↗
When I was about 14 and got my first drum kit, I wanted to be a drummer in a band like the Police.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 20 October 2018 source ↗
Lying. Let’s not call it “untruthful.” Or “factually inaccurate.” I don’t even call it bullshit, because I like bulls. And bulls need to shit. So you can’t hold that against them. Let’s call it what it is: lying.
Recorded Vanity Fair, The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, June 2025 source ↗
A family dinner. Candlelight. Lots of laughs.
Recorded The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, 3 June 2025 source ↗
My wife – for her intelligence, talent, ability to survive this business and be such a fantastic mother to our two kids. (Of course, I have to say that, because she’s sitting right here.)
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 10 November 2018 source ↗
I can’t stand the way my voice will crack if I’m making a speech. I hate public speaking and the emotion it dredges up.
Recorded Vanity Fair, The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, June 2025 source ↗
As someone who did what he could with what he had.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 10 November 2018 source ↗
Food in a sink drain.
Recorded Vanity Fair, The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, June 2025 source ↗
Adam Clayton, Adrian Edmondson, Adwoa Aboah, Aidan Gillen, Alex Hassell, Alison Moyet
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