Appearing on US breakfast radio. I heard the DJ say that after the news we would hear from the author Lincoln Child. I had to choose between making a guy with a mixed-up PR release look like an idiot or pretending to be Lincoln. I pretended.

I was in a restaurant with my daughter in Los Angeles and I had an accident involving a stomach upset. That was mortifying for both of us.

I bumped into an old schoolteacher and her even more ancient and deaf sister, and she shouted to her, “Remember Esther? Now she writes books … ABOUT HERSELF.”

When I was 19 I worked at a gay bar while I was at drama school in London. One of the guys I worked with was Glaswegian and I learned the dialect from him. The acting teacher at the school said, “Liev, you’ve got the region but you’ve missed the character entirely” because I played Jimmy Boyle in a very camp Glaswegian accent.

Know the things you are responsible for and the things you aren’t.

Working in farming in Somerset at 18, there were elements that were awful, and they were all really edifying. I mean, feeding chickens in sleet was hard work but I am so glad I did it.

Football player of the year 4th XI 2002.

Infinity. I can’t get my head round it.

“I have it on very good authority he’s a complete cunt.”

This morning, in a really great conversation with my dad.