I don't think I could go for another three years. I'm leaving it at the right time, I love it, I've absolutely had a wonderful competition and I've loved every minute of it.

You gave a six-year-old boy his Laker dream And I'll always love you for it. But I can't love you obsessively for much longer. This season is all I have left to give. My heart can take the pounding My mind can handle the grind But my body knows it's time to say goodbye.

No, because I was set for it. My core, my whole life was medicine. I wanted to become a specialist. So for ten years I concentrated solely on medicine. It took ten years to become a consultant in neurology.

But I'm ready for what's next after rugby. Being able to not just say that, but to truly feel it, is a privilege. Ultimately, getting to leave your sport on your own terms is all you can really hope for as an athlete.

I wrote while listening to Caribou, Kamasi Washington, Frank Ocean, Mitski. Towards the end, a lot of Talk Talk.

I needed to physically be totally alone and be in a different place to get going.

I love being bad at something and getting better at it.

Carrie helped me keep to a strict rhythm, but all the essays took shape in very idiosyncratic ways.

I had help in the form of my friend and former editor Carrie Frye

if there is anyone who’s telling you, “Here’s what you should do,” they are somehow lying to you