What is the most important lesson life has taught you?

Originally asked

The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A

Verbatim recurring item in The Guardian Q&A; two fully readable publisher-hosted respondent pages establish institutional recurrence.

You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.

Recorded Tony Judt said elsewhere, not written here
I think the only life experience that I have to offer out of this is something we all know in the abstract but don't experience in practice very much. That is that you can survive an awful lot of bad stuff, so long as your mind is intact. I'm afraid that's the only life experience I have to offer.

Terry Gross, Fresh Air, NPR, 29 March 2010 source ↗

Others on this question

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Jo Nesbø Norwegian writer and musician
The world doesn’t consist of bad and good people; it consists of people seeing things in a different way.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 4 April 2026 source ↗
Kevin Rowland British singer
Shakespeare said, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so” – I think that’s true.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 9 August 2025 source ↗

More from Tony Judt

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Question What do you need to believe in order to get through the day? Values & belief
During the day I can at least request a scratch, an adjustment, a drink, or simply a gratuitous re-placement of my limbs—since enforced stillness for hours on end is not only physically uncomfortable but psychologically close to intolerable. It is not as though you lose the desire to stretch, to bend, to stand or lie or run or even exercise. But when the urge comes over you there is nothing—nothing—that you can do except seek some tiny substitute or else find a way to suppress the thought and the accompanying muscle memory.
Recorded The New York Review of Books, 14 January 2010 issue, 14 January 2010 source ↗
Question Are you afraid of death? Death & what remains
But if I was sitting in an armchair with bits and pieces of rubber sticking out of me and my son came over and said, you know, would you like a banana? Wink once for yes, wink twice for no, I dont think the interest of the conversation would get me past the sense that this is horrible. It's horrible for me but above all, horrible for them. There are things worse than death.
Recorded Terry Gross, Fresh Air, NPR, 29 March 2010 source ↗
Question What happens when we die? Death & what remains
I don't believe in an afterlife. I don't believe in a single or multiple godhead. I respect people who do, but I don't believe it myself. But there's a big but which enters in here. I am much more conscious than I ever was, for obvious reasons, of what it will mean to people left behind once I'm dead. It won't mean anything for me. But it will mean a lot to them. ... So in one curious way I've come to believe in the afterlife as a place where I still have moral responsibilities, just as I do in this life except that I can only exercise them before I get there. Once I get there, it'll be too late.
Recorded Terry Gross, Fresh Air, NPR, 29 March 2010 source ↗
Question What keeps you awake at night? Daily life
My solution has been to scroll through my life, my thoughts, my fantasies, my memories, mis-memories, and the like until I have chanced upon events, people, or narratives that I can employ to divert my mind from the body in which it is encased. These mental exercises have to be interesting enough to hold my attention and see me through an intolerable itch in my inner ear or lower back; but they also have to be boring and predictable enough to serve as a reliable prelude and encouragement to sleep. It took me some time to identify this process as a workable alternative to insomnia and physical discomfort and it is by no means infallible. But I am occasionally astonished, when I reflect upon the matter, at how readily I seem to get through, night after night, week after week, month after month, what was once an almost insufferable nocturnal ordeal. I wake up in exactly the position, frame of mind, and state of suspended despair with which I went to bed—which in the circumstances might be thought a considerable achievement.
Recorded The New York Review of Books, 14 January 2010 issue; the first of a series of short reflections dictated during his illness, 14 January 2010 source ↗

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