If you had only one day left to live, how would you spend it — and what would you deliberately avoid doing?

Jeez, I’d be running around like a mad man. I’d probably be on the phone all day talking to family and friends. There were times in my life when I had issues with members of my family but I think I’ve resolved them now. I don’t need to make my peace with people but I’d tell them I love them.

That’s the point. I don’t have to achieve today. For an over-achiever that would be quite an unusual day. But there would be mental photographs taken of dear friends and family so that I could create a virtual reality of them wherever I was going.

To be honest, if it was my last day on Earth doing any type of work would probably be the last thing on my mind. So I don’t think there would be any professional endeavours on the last day on Earth. But, I’ve been to the North Pole so you might as well throw in the South Pole. Gotta check out the South Pole.

Primping mostly. It’s Sophia Loren! So I would clean up a bit and the first thing I would check are my toenails. I would have a full shave and make sure I had moisturised everywhere. Of course I’d make sure I smell nice too, but not overly perfumed. I think after cleaning and steaming and bathing and primping, I would like to do a bit of exercise – or maybe the steam bath would be enough – to bring out my natural body odour, that fresh, manly scent.

There’s a few enemies I’d like to take with me. I think mostly telling my family how much I love them, stuff you don’t do. We’ve all lost people and you think, ‘well, I wish I would have said that to them’, or, ‘I wish I would have told them this’. So there would be a lot of that, telling people I love them and what they mean to me and stuff.

Drinking green tea with my wife and listening to Eno’s ‘Music For Airports’.

I would probably talk to each of my close friends and my family members about things I regret and get any miscommunications out of the way.

By the sea. I would like to be on the beach in Kerala, I would like to be on the beach at Yellowcraigs in Scotland, and then at a really good table, drinking really good wine, eating delicious food, and discussing things I am passionate about with people that I am passionate about.

It will be a challenge to convince the pilot to make the trip, but certainly not impossible. We can make it from Kentucky to Washington state easily, and gain three hours in the time change. I’ll bring a few people, like my woman for loving, my friends for other companionships, my poor ma, and some kids for the learning experience along on the flight, and then tuck them all in safely in a motel once we have landed.

Book all the headliners that I’ve never managed to book for Bestival, for future Bestivals that my children will run after I die. Kate Bush, Prince, Dolly Parton, David Bowie – maybe throw Iron Maiden in there for a bit of a laugh. I’d get on the mobile and stroll around outside and do some deals. Maybe get some of these hard-arse agents to give me a bit of a discount as I’m dying.

I’m like a teenager in that I always leave a trail of stuff behind me, whether it’s empty teacups or records not put back in their sleeves – just stuff in piles everywhere that never gets dealt with. So I reckon I’d have a massive tidy-up. I’d do all the DIY stuff that I’ve been promising to do for the last couple of years – I’d put the shelf back up in the bedroom, fill the hole in the wall in the landing, and I might mow the lawn if the weather’s alright… Basically all the stuff that annoys my wife I’d deal with, so I can make sure my legacy wasn’t a load of mess and unfinished jobs. Oh, and I’d take some prawns out of the freezer as well.

I’m sure it’s a cliché but I’d like to see as many of my friends and family as possible in that day. So I’d have my family around, I’d have my friends around, just to clock in with them.