When were you happiest?

Originally asked

The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A

Asked in 52 of the 131 consecutive instalments of The Guardian's The Q&A harvested on 2026-08-29.

You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.

Recorded Joyce Carol Oates said elsewhere, not written here
On two dates: 23 January 1961 and 13 March 2009 (my two weddings).

The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 9 January 2010 source ↗

Others on this question

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My college years when I was 17 to 19, before the responsibilities of adulthood, just doing the things that I was good at and liked – computers, maths, further maths (I was a geek).

Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 15 November 2025 source ↗

Edmund Hillary Mountaineer and explorer; first ascent of Everest, 1953
Those years from 1953 to 1975 were extremely happy years for me. I did many adventurous activities. I got deeply involved in these aid programs for the people of the Himalayas. I had a nice family, we took our family into the out-of-doors, we camped and we swam and we clambered around the hills. For me, it was a very full and a very happy existence.

Recorded Academy of Achievement interview source ↗

Emily Watson English actress
About half an hour ago, watching through the window as my dad and two-year-old daughter walked to the paper shop together.

Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 2 August 2008 source ↗

More from Joyce Carol Oates

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Question Which trait do you most dislike in yourself? Identity & self
If I had a trait that I truly deplored, I would work to erase or modify it…Probably, a lack of discipline. (Though people think that I write quickly, & don’t revise, quite the reverse is true.) To myself, I work very slowly & painstakingly, & am often frustrated by accomplishing so little. My friend Margaret Atwood has said that in the late afternoon she is likely to be overcome by a feeling of desperation that she has accomplished so little that day, & this is a feeling I share, often. It seems that I waste most of my time gazing out the window here at my (overgrown) garden; & when I am in Berkeley, where I spend about one-third of the year, I am forever gazing out the window toward the San Francisco Bay & a continually changing, always-beautiful sky.

Recorded Vanity Fair, The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, November 2018 source ↗

Question Which teacher, parent, coach or friend most made you who you are, and what did you learn from them? Relationships
My parents inspired me by their example. They both grew up in the Depression, and both of them had to quit school when they were quite young to work, because there actually was no choice. So, though they’re intelligent people — and my father in particular is interested in books and has subsequently, since his retirement, attended classes at the University of Buffalo — nonetheless, they didn’t have any opportunity to be educated. So they’ve always impressed me with their resilience, their good spirits, their courage. It wasn’t an easy life, and I won’t go into details, but there were a lot of problems. And yet they were never defeated. Somebody else might have been defeated. Someone else might have been really depressed, or become an alcoholic or something, because there were personal problems and economic crises. But I just remember them carrying on and just doing their lives. They really made a strong impression on me.

Recorded Academy of Achievement interview source ↗

Question What is your idea of perfect happiness? Identity & self
“Perfect happiness!”—waking in the morning to a clear & benevolent-seeming sky, a view from a window of a beautiful (if overgrown) garden, a cat purring. The excitement of rewriting the previous day’s work, & continuing on from that point energized & hopeful. For a writer, “happiness” isn’t likely to ever be “perfect”—but it is likely to be bound up with the work-in-progress. First drafts tend to be frustrating, exhausting—subsequent drafts sometimes move swiftly, even miraculously. For most adults, “Perfect is the enemy of good”—we learn to appreciate whatever measure of happiness we have, however modest.

Recorded The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, 28 November 2018 source ↗

Question What is the trait you most deplore in others? Values & belief
Amid so much blatant cruelty in our political situation, such shocking indifference to the lives & welfare of those living at the margins of an affluent society, I think it must be this institutionalized cruelty, & the hypocrisy that surrounds it. “Making America great again”—for whom? Wealthy white people? The word “deplore” is particularly relevant here.

Recorded Vanity Fair, The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, November 2018 source ↗

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