There’s a few enemies I’d like to take with me. I think mostly telling my family how much I love them, stuff you don’t do. We’ve all lost people and you think, ‘well, I wish I would have said that to them’, or, ‘I wish I would have told them this’. So there would be a lot of that, telling people I love them and what they mean to me and stuff.

Primping mostly. It’s Sophia Loren! So I would clean up a bit and the first thing I would check are my toenails. I would have a full shave and make sure I had moisturised everywhere. Of course I’d make sure I smell nice too, but not overly perfumed. I think after cleaning and steaming and bathing and primping, I would like to do a bit of exercise – or maybe the steam bath would be enough – to bring out my natural body odour, that fresh, manly scent.

An extremely large amount of partying. Just the hardest partying anyone has ever done, ever. Going out in a blaze of burning party fireball glory. Beaming, streaming, and teaming waves of wonder and pleasure crashing over me in euphoric surges of glorious oblivion.

I would stop working out right away. I wouldn’t lift another weight, I wouldn’t run another mile. I would sit on my ass and eat as many cookies as I could find.