If you had only one day left to live, how would you spend it — and what would you deliberately avoid doing?

It would be too late to write my autobiography. I guess I would drink coffee and talk with my friends. Hopefully we could do some jamming as well that would be recorded. I think it would be quite an emotional moment. I would definitely be playing flute. Flute is the instrument of death in a way.

Jeez, I’d be running around like a mad man. I’d probably be on the phone all day talking to family and friends. There were times in my life when I had issues with members of my family but I think I’ve resolved them now. I don’t need to make my peace with people but I’d tell them I love them.

If the rain held off, I’d walk down to Lough Ine, stopping at the shrine to say a few words to Herself and rile a few fairies. I’d take a sloop out, do a few perimeters and have a chat with Labhrai Loinsigh. I’d maybe walk up furry mountain and take in the view.

The only thing left to achieve would be to just enjoy the fact that the ride was amazing, and probably say as many ‘I love you’s as I could. It would be a day of reflection for sure. But I wouldn’t want for more because I’ve had more than I could have ever imagined in the first place.

That’s the point. I don’t have to achieve today. For an over-achiever that would be quite an unusual day. But there would be mental photographs taken of dear friends and family so that I could create a virtual reality of them wherever I was going.

I’ll have to write the greatest song I’ve ever written. You know, every day I get up, I live most days like they’re my last. I wake up with a kind of fear in my belly, with a feeling like, ‘This is it – go for it.’ So in many respects, it won’t be that much different from any other day. Knowing my luck, if I knew it was going to be my last day I’d make an elaborate arrangement. But something always goes wrong – like the gas boiler would explode. I’m not very good at making plans, so I live every day as if it’s my last. But I’d have to write a great song.

I’d look for the mad amusement park on the base of Mount Fuji and take a few rides in there, and then whisk myself off very, very, very quickly on a jet cos it’s gonna be a long day. I’m thinking of getting stuck up in the Himalayas, but then that just gives me another mountain and you’re gonna think I’m a bit of a mountain freak. Where would I go? Not the pyramids! I’d like to get a plane from Japan to Petra in Syria, which is a little city that’s in the desert; it’s quite famous, it’s all made out of sand, like carved out of the desert. While I’m flying I’d like to catch up on the last few books of Philip K. Dick, then I’d come to my flat in London for lunch, say my goodbyes to my dear friends and family, pick up my two children and leave. I’d steal a tank and drive it up to Heathrow. I wouldn’t mind giving my girlfriend one in the middle of Parliament Square whilst shouting out, ‘It’s in the name of art!’ Then I’d nick a Concorde and fly to Arizona whilst having a wet shave and a top massage.

To be honest, if it was my last day on Earth doing any type of work would probably be the last thing on my mind. So I don’t think there would be any professional endeavours on the last day on Earth. But, I’ve been to the North Pole so you might as well throw in the South Pole. Gotta check out the South Pole.

I can see myself making this grand plan of finding everyone and telling them all how much I love them. However, instead I find myself in bed at 3pm and I’ve slept for half the day. I would probably make grand plans and then just oversleep. So I think it could go two ways. I could try and be generous and get together with the people that I’m close to and tell them all how much they mean to me. But at the same time that’s also really egocentric as I’m about to die and therefore the more I make them love me, the more pain they’ll be in. So I think I’ll skip that just because I’m selfless. So I’d go to my enemies and tell them how much I hate them all. I could be as rude to them as I want as I know that I’m going to have the last word anyway. But my enemy list isn’t that long and I wouldn’t be that cruel, just the odd harsh word and kick in the ass.

I would go and record a bunch of stuff. I would just go and record every single idea that I have in my head and have Pat (Gemayel, bandmate) finish them, giving him very strict guidelines, which is what I do anyway. This is so we can have a couple of albums out after I’ve passed away, Tupac style.

I would make love all night. I don’t think I’d like to drink any alcohol or take any drugs because it cuts you off from reality and I would like to be really present and conscious during my last day on Earth.

I would like to tie up all my loose ends – whatever they may be – and to wreak revenge on all of the people that I still need to wreak revenge on. It’s not very nice I know, but it’s my last day so I can do what I want! Revenge is a dish best served cold so it can sometimes take on a physical form, but I’ll see how the mood takes me..

Primping mostly. It’s Sophia Loren! So I would clean up a bit and the first thing I would check are my toenails. I would have a full shave and make sure I had moisturised everywhere. Of course I’d make sure I smell nice too, but not overly perfumed. I think after cleaning and steaming and bathing and primping, I would like to do a bit of exercise – or maybe the steam bath would be enough – to bring out my natural body odour, that fresh, manly scent.

I’d like to be dancing the night away, making love and listening to music. All done with the most amazing bag of weed you can possibly imagine so my last joint is perfect.

I’d sit and listen to albums end to end. I’d listen ‘S. F. Sorrow’ by The Pretty Things, then ‘Endtroducing’ by DJ Shadow. Just before I die, the last thing I’d listen to would be ‘Come On Eileen’ by Dexy’s Midnight Runners. Imagine dancing to that and dying right at the end of it. My missus would film it and it would be on YouTube. I’d still be warm and people will be watching it.

There’s a few enemies I’d like to take with me. I think mostly telling my family how much I love them, stuff you don’t do. We’ve all lost people and you think, ‘well, I wish I would have said that to them’, or, ‘I wish I would have told them this’. So there would be a lot of that, telling people I love them and what they mean to me and stuff.

I’d make the best double album ever. People hate double albums and always say, ‘this should have just been one’, like ‘Sandinista!’ by The Clash. I’d like to try and achieve a double album that everyone says, ‘actually, I could do with it being three’. I’d have to get up early.

There’s always a lyric to finish. They hang around, and I think it would be awful to go without tidying those up.

I’d like to see all my friends. I would have my breakfast and then I would go to Ireland and see my friends – Frank McGuinness, Penny and Desmond Guinness…all those people. I would have lunch in the castle with Penny and Desmond and maybe some other people, then in the afternoon I would go to New York and do the same thing.

I would like to have read all the novels of Charles Dickens. My dad always said he was the best novelist in the English language, and I think I should work out if he was right or not. He usually was right about those things.