Originally asked
The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A
A verbatim recurring question in The Guardian's Q&A series.
You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.
The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 22 June 2024 source ↗
The very first day that I was filming Top Gear, for which I was so unqualified because I’d only ever driven a Fiat Uno. I got into a DB7 Vantage Volante outside the Aston Martin factory, put my foot on the accelerator and bunny-hopped across the gravel because I’d forgotten to take the handbrake off.
Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 23 December 2023 source ↗
Forgetting the words to my own songs on stage. I’m a very good mumbler of my own songs. You’d be surprised how few people notice – if you smile and do it confidently, they’re none the wiser.
Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 18 July 2026 source ↗
I’ve shat myself in public three times. It’s never quite as bad as you fear.
Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 11 October 2025 source ↗
Putting chocolate mousse in my agent’s face. Somebody had done it to me – that thing where they go, “Smell this, it smells funny”, and then they put it in your nose. A year later I was in this French restaurant with a very 1980s-style dessert trolley and, before I knew it, I had a bowl of chocolate mousse in front of me. And my agent went, “What’s that smell?”, and it felt impossible not to … I immediately felt awful and tried to apologise. He, of course, said that he found it funny. But I knew he didn’t.
Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 23 May 2026 source ↗
My own books being discounted. Oh, and sharks. The reason we Aussies swim so fast is because something much bigger is always trying to eat us.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 22 June 2024 source ↗
As a writer who championed women with grit and wit.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 22 June 2024 source ↗
Worrying about the faux pas I made earlier that evening. I tend to suffer from foot-in-mouth disease.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 22 June 2024 source ↗
Hitchhiking across Australia as a teenager, relying on the kindness of passing serial killers.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 22 June 2024 source ↗
Falling in love is like going to the doctor and being told that you need to put on weight. You feel elated.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 22 June 2024 source ↗
Bedpan emptier in a hospital.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 22 June 2024 source ↗
Adam Lambert, Adele Parks, Alex Hassell, Alison Steadman, Andrew O’Hagan, Bear Grylls
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