During the technical rehearsal of Aspects of Love in 1989. They told me it would be discreetly lit because I was paranoid about being in just my pants. I walked on and every spotlight in the building followed me round the stage.

I was once walking through Edinburgh with someone in the industry. I was quite drunk and I slowly wet myself.

I was doing a photoshoot right after an awards show and I was talking about someone whose makeup I really didn’t like. I said: “She’s gorgeous, I don’t understand how a makeup artist could encourage that?” And the makeup artist on the photoshoot said: “I did her makeup.”

Shitting myself in New York last November. I was wearing cream trousers. We were going to see my son Matty and his band, the 1975, at Madison Square Garden, and I was walking through the streets, enjoying the sunshine, pretending I was in some kind of video – throwing my hat into the New York sky like Mary Tyler Moore. I saw a couple of people turn and look at me. Now, although I’m not famous in New York, whenever Matty’s there I do get recognised as his mum, so I’m smiling and waving at them. I went back to the hotel room and bent over to get something out of the suitcase, and my husband said: “Do you realise you’ve shat yourself?”

Bar and buffet at Top Ten Bingo in Greenford. A lot of the old people were quite bigoted.

Comparing myself to other people.

In the sea, somewhere hot. Looking back at people I love on the beach.

I’d drink less alcohol in the 90s.

Losing my mind.

Comparing themselves to other people.