I would have spent every single day with my sister before she left to live in New Zealand. At my wedding, it was the first time I had seen her in two and a half years.

I would never have gone on a diet. I would go back with the knowledge that not being perfect is fine.

I would go back to when I was 14 and keep to my own style of playing snooker. I was perfect, but I didn’t think I was, so I started playing like everybody else and created bad habits. With a little more time, I could have been the ultimate player. I look at my career and I probably got 75% out of it instead of 100%.

I would have been a better listener. I would have pursued more friendships instead of focusing so much on work and myself. I’m doing all that now, but I’m running out of time.

My five-litre Ford Mustang.

Bloody radiator keeps banging. I think it needs air releasing but I don’t have a bleeding key.

How about The Hokey Cokey? That’s always fun, especially if they’re carrying the coffin.

Working on an assembly line in a plastics factory.

When I read the story of a blind, bisexual goose called Thomas who had died in New Zealand after a lifetime of love for a swan called Henry. It sounds ridiculous but is entirely true.

I’ve had a surprising number of near-death experiences: I was nearly blown up by a landmine in Sudan; I was stranded on the Zambezi river at night; I was bucked off a rodeo horse in Arizona and had to be airlifted to hospital; and, worst of all, I once ate a Pot Noodle.