The question
What did you want to be when you were growing up?Originally asked
The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A
This is a standing question in The Guardian's decades-long The Q&A and also recurs independently in career and life interviews.
You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.
I was writing letters to friends, because we moved just about every year. And when you write letters as a kid, you soon run out of things to say, so I started making up adventures that I was having, fantasies.
Rutgers University, Rutgers University, 1 April 2019 source ↗
I wanted to be a footballer and then a squash player – I was in with a chance because I was very good. But I fell out of love with that by 14 or 15 and joined a youth theatre.
I was a fanatic about Sports Illustrated as a kid. That was the sports bible.
At this age? A batty old lady wandering around talking to herself? But I do that anyway. Oh, you mean what would I have been. Maybe a botanist. If so, I’d be genetically engineering drought-resistant crops right now. Either that, or sentient fungi. (I know, I know, Mr. Sheldrake: they’re already sentient. So, more sentient.)
An actor or a nun.
I didn’t fear failure. I expected failure. I think I’ve always been somebody, since the deaths of my father and brother, who was afraid to hope. So, I was more prepared for failure and for rejection than success. The success took me by surprise and it frightened me.
I go back to this idea that I only discovered when I was older. I wish I had known it when I was younger, because I think I missed a lot of observations in life. That is to develop your own philosophy. I always thought philosophy was one of the most useless subjects in the world.
I remember one teacher in particular. I was in a school in the third grade and they were thinking of skipping me, putting me in a higher grade. But then somebody said that would be bad psychologically. So, for that entire year, because I had learned all the lessons that year — the multiplication tables, whatever the reading was — this teacher let me go off by myself and draw pictures. So I had hours and hours of time where I was just left to my own devices, drawing pictures. And she would encourage me. That was a wonderful period in my life. I mean, I didn’t become an artist, but somebody let me do something I loved. What a luxury, to do something you love to do. I would still like to have that luxury, to be able to just sit and draw for hours and hours and hours. In a way, that’s what I do as a writer. I just sit by myself, being in my own mind, not being directed at what I should be doing moment-by-moment, not having a clear plan set out by anybody and just letting imagination enter into the blank page. So in that respect, I can thank Miss Grudoff of the third grade for allowing me that.
Mary McCartney, Alan Cumming, Pauline McLynn, Kate Mosse, Shirley MacLaine, Jack Whitehall
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