To my mother for disappointing her. Mummy wanted me to be a different sort of person from who I am, but one can’t change oneself.
Who most deserves an apology from you, and why?
Question
What is the worst job you have done?
Craft & work
Question
What is the worst thing anyone has said to you?
Failure & regret
Question
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
Values & belief
Question
How close have you come to death?
Death & what remains
Question
Aside from a property, what is the most expensive thing you have bought?
Money & investment
Question
How would you describe yourself in three words?
Identity & self
Originally asked
The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A
A fixed Guardian Q&A prompt asked directly across respondents and years.
You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.
Everybody I’ve lost to suicide. When someone dies in that tragic way, you always feel you could have done more.
The Q&A, The Guardian, 5 July 2025 source ↗
Others on this question
View all 209 →
Alex Jones
American far-right conspiracy theorist
An ex-boyfriend who, looking back, I lost patience with. Now we know more about mental health, I think that was at the root of it; I am sorry I didn’t understand it at the time.
Dan Stevens
English actor
Downton Abbey fans for ruining Christmas in 2012.
Melanie Chisholm
British pop singer
The Spice Girls – Mel B, Geri and Emma – who wanted to mark our 20th anniversary, and the fans. It was not something I felt comfortable doing.
More from Munroe Bergdorf
View profile →At university, I worked at a hotel in housekeeping. We saw so many weird things in people’s rooms. Guests would leave sex and party stuff behind!
Apart from stuff on social media, an ex-partner telling me I’m unlovable.
Victoria Rose, a British surgeon operating on children in Gaza.
Before transitioning, I had a severe eating disorder. The doctor said, “Your body’s shutting down and if you don’t improve your mental and physical wellbeing, you’ll die.” Shortly after that, I started transitioning medically and my eating disorder resolved.
Gender-affirming surgery. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not widely available on the NHS and a lot of it you have to pay for yourself.
Passionate, loving, driven.
More on failure & regret
- What has been your biggest disappointment? 366 answers
- If you could edit your past, what would you change? 203 answers
- What is the worst thing anyone has said to you? 122 answers
- Which moment embarrassed you most? 122 answers
- How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a favourite failure? 63 answers
- What is the hardest thing that has happened to you, and what did you carry out of it? 36 answers
Also answered this
Siobhán McSweeney, Charlotte Rampling, Kate Humble, Mark Steel, Mandy Patinkin, Charlie Higson
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