I can always remember, when I was at high school we had a school sort of army battalion and because, at that time, I was one of the larger boys, I was appointed sergeant of the number one platoon, and I was always absolutely petrified that when I was meant to turn the platoon left or turn it right, I was really actually hopeless at knowing quite what to do. But fortunately, my platoon, who were really all the misfits in the school, the larger misfits, they stood by me, and some of them were quite good at knowing when to turn left or turn right. So whatever command I gave, they would do the right thing. We were a pretty good platoon as a consequence although, at the time, I felt an absolute idiot.

An earthquake in Peru forced me and a young man into the street, where he had to introduce me to his family at three in the morning.

Pretending I’m happy when I’m not.

I constantly forget people’s names when they have literally just told me.

Boothby Graffoe calling up to pester me into promoting his new album, available on Amazon and iTunes.

Sinatra's The Best Is Yet To Come.

"Which side shall I comb it over?"

Still being married to Annabel.

Jumping on the seats of a deserted carriage on a London-bound train from Canterbury in 1989.

As a well-balanced and functioning thin man.