The question

What does happiness look like for you when life is going well?

Originally asked

Vanity Fair, to its interview subject, The Proust Questionnaire

Verbatim recurring item in Vanity Fair's Proust Questionnaire; two publisher-hosted respondent pages establish institutional recurrence.

You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.

Joyce Carol Oates

Novelist, short story writer and essayist

Recorded said elsewhere, not written here
“Perfect happiness!”—waking in the morning to a clear & benevolent-seeming sky, a view from a window of a beautiful (if overgrown) garden, a cat purring. The excitement of rewriting the previous day’s work, & continuing on from that point energized & hopeful. For a writer, “happiness” isn’t likely to ever be “perfect”—but it is likely to be bound up with the work-in-progress. First drafts tend to be frustrating, exhausting—subsequent drafts sometimes move swiftly, even miraculously. For most adults, “Perfect is the enemy of good”—we learn to appreciate whatever measure of happiness we have, however modest.

The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, 28 November 2018 source ↗

Others on this question

View all 158 →
Watching my girls laugh together. It is more short-lived than I’d like, but it does happen!
Recorded The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, 18 February 2025 source ↗
First of all, to be in love. The second way of being very happy is to be able to get the best out of yourself, whatever it is.
Recorded The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, 1 March 2010 source ↗
I think you can strive to attain it, but be realistic about the outcome. In the meantime, I find I might be experiencing it through flashes or brief moments in love and art, and at times just being alive.
Recorded The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, 1 March 2010 source ↗

More from Joyce Carol Oates

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Question Which teacher, parent, coach, or friend most made you who you are, and what did you learn from them? Relationships
My parents inspired me by their example. They both grew up in the Depression, and both of them had to quit school when they were quite young to work, because there actually was no choice. So, though they’re intelligent people — and my father in particular is interested in books and has subsequently, since his retirement, attended classes at the University of Buffalo — nonetheless, they didn’t have any opportunity to be educated. So they’ve always impressed me with their resilience, their good spirits, their courage. It wasn’t an easy life, and I won’t go into details, but there were a lot of problems. And yet they were never defeated. Somebody else might have been defeated. Someone else might have been really depressed, or become an alcoholic or something, because there were personal problems and economic crises. But I just remember them carrying on and just doing their lives. They really made a strong impression on me.
Recorded Academy of Achievement interview source ↗
Question Who alive today do you admire most, and what draws you to them? Values & belief
“Most admiring” an individual may depend upon knowing her—or him—only at a distance. Public personalities may be the easiest to admire, for obvious reasons. Michelle Obama has seemed to me enormously admirable, like President Obama. And—of course!—Oprah, a great American original. Among people whom I know personally, & have known for some time, Gloria Vanderbilt is most admirable. There are too many things to say about Gloria to fit this space—& indeed I have said a good deal about Gloria in the past—but she is one of the most remarkable persons of my acquaintance. Equally admirable, among my friends who are “known” to the public, whom nonetheless I know as individuals, is Steve Martin, remarkable also for the diversity of his talent(s). But what is most impressive about Steve is that, greatly gifted as he is in comedy, his comic vision is essentially unifying—radiantly goofy, never injurious to anyone. It has become a rare comedy that doesn’t trade upon marginalizing & insulting others & it is really quite remarkable how through his long career Steve has never insulted, hurt, or objectified anyone else for the sake of laughter.
Recorded Vanity Fair, The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, November 2018 source ↗

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