Originally asked
The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A
The Guardian's long-running Q&A repeatedly asks this standing question, with minor tense variation.
You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.
The Q&A, The Guardian, 20 December 2025 source ↗
I was a waiter with my old friend Justin Clayton; we would sneak in too many drinks and were fired after spilling soup too many times on customers.
A kitchen porter at some big telecom office in Wimbledon. I was also a kitchen porter at L’Escargot and, while I was there, a model for Gilbert and George. It was a quick £15 and they were terribly nice.
When I was a kid I was a chambermaid in my family’s hotel, and I once found a strap-on that someone had left behind.
A really bad film for no money: the director had no idea what he was doing and I was wondering: why am I here?
Very impatient, bossy, always late.
A glow of wellbeing.
A missionary in Africa – I think that was Sunday school-based.
Laziness, lack of empathy, lack of humour.
“You’ll never, ever work.” When you are young and full of hopes and dreams it’s devastating. I am just grateful that I thought: “Well, I’m going to try.”
Speedy, bossy, loving.
Archie Panjabi, Rick Astley, Tom Allen, Cybill Shepherd, Aidan Gillen, Paterson Joseph
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