Gloria Hunniford’s wedding at Hever Castle 20-odd years ago. We had a lovely buffet and a few drinks and then I had to get a cab back to the train station. I said to the driver: “I’m ever so sorry, but I’m not going to be able to hang on till I get to the train. Could you possibly take me down this alleyway?” He said: “Yes, of course.” As I prepared myself to go “to the ladies”, this police car came along and the policeman said: “Hi-de-Hi!”

That time I congratulated a waitress on being pregnant.

Modelling tuxedos at the Oklahoma State Fair in 1971.

In my early days of transitioning, I used to come to London and meet for a drink with a group going through the same thing. I used to wear a full wig, and one night I’d drunk too much and fell asleep on the train, and my wig slipped off.

My creative freedom. I was the creative director of a large fashion brand when I packed it all in to pursue my writing.

The summer of 1997. My husband, who is an American, gave up everything to come and live with me in Edinburgh when we were students, and we were so skint but we had so much fun.

People who can’t hear other points of view. Absolute certainty always scares me a little.

My mother and my brother would still be alive. So much of my life has been coping with the grief of losing them.

When I was about 18, I worked on the chicken counter in a large supermarket, and every morning I had to pierce 64 birds on to industrial skewers to load up the rotisserie. That was very grim.

To my younger self. I was incredibly self-loathing and self-doubting, and I’m still undoing that damage 30 years later.