Eight or nine years ago, I disgraced myself in the Japanese ambassador’s home in Dublin, at a celebration for my late mother-in-law’s book about living in Japan. Afterwards, when I had to apologise, she told me it was the worst night of her life and, because I was drunk enough not to remember the details, it will never not be the most embarrassing night of my life. People are filling in details even now – “Remember when you fell under the table during the first course?”

Forgetting the words to my own songs on stage. I’m a very good mumbler of my own songs. You’d be surprised how few people notice – if you smile and do it confidently, they’re none the wiser.

I once walked up to Harriet Walter while she was having lunch on her own because I thought I knew her, and then when I got up to the table I realised I didn’t know her, I just recognised her because she was Harriet Walter.

In order to raise money to pay for myself to go to the National Youth Theatre, I performed a medley of my drama school speeches and some songs for my entire school. Considering I can’t sing, this was terrible. I did U Remind Me by Usher and Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T’s. They paid £2 each – basically, to laugh at me.

Last week, when I decided to rewrite the children’s book I’ve been working on.

My parents died within four days of each other. I was engulfed as I ran from one bedside to another.

Life’s too short to take offence.

Safety or alarm, I can never decide which.

Talking about the hardships of my mother’s life – she would not approve.

We watch over those we love.