Gloria Hunniford’s wedding at Hever Castle 20-odd years ago. We had a lovely buffet and a few drinks and then I had to get a cab back to the train station. I said to the driver: “I’m ever so sorry, but I’m not going to be able to hang on till I get to the train. Could you possibly take me down this alleyway?” He said: “Yes, of course.” As I prepared myself to go “to the ladies”, this police car came along and the policeman said: “Hi-de-Hi!”

Years ago in a safari park in South Africa, and getting all dressed up for dinner. Walking across the lawn, I didn’t realise there was a swimming pool that hadn’t been lit and walked straight into the shallow end fully clothed. It still haunts me. I remember trying to get out as if no one would notice.

One of the first TV appearances that our band made in America, on the Craig Ferguson show. I forgot the lyrics to Little Lion Man and then broke two strings.

When my trousers split on stage in Burn the Floor in Australia. I had always been warned to wear my flesh underwear and I did not that day.

Impatience. Though sometimes it helps!

A shoot with a showbusiness icon who I’d loved all my life and shall remain nameless. She walked into the room and immediately said she hated everything. Things went downhill from there. Rough day.

When I get to the restaurant and don’t see any hot sauce on the table.

The ability to teleport. I’d be unstoppable.Would you rather have more sex, money or fame? More than those, I’d like more time.

In African families, you can be one of three things: a doctor, a lawyer or a failure. I wanted to be an Egyptologist, but things worked out in the end.

That there is no ideal life. Disappointments sit around every corner, so enjoy the here and now.