I was a perfume girl at a department store in Aberdeen. I was so bad at it, I didn’t make it to the end of the day.
Originally asked
The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A
The Guardian's long-running Q&A repeatedly asks this standing question, with minor tense variation.
You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.
The Q&A, The Guardian, 21 February 2026 source ↗
Others on this question
View all 229 →Having to clean out my daughter’s digs at university. The memory of the state of that toilet still lives with me.
When I was a kid I was a chambermaid in my family’s hotel, and I once found a strap-on that someone had left behind.
When I was a teenager, I worked in a vegetable shop on Saturdays, and the guy had a rotation of 10 pretty teenagers working for him and was really sleazy. I only went twice because the second time he made me go up to his flat above the shop and clean his toilet, and he was watching me.
More from Marcus Mumford
View profile →I don’t care that much about legacy. Within family I do, but not externally.
Trying quite hard.
Sickeningly, it’s probably my wife, because she’s a legend.
Know the things you are responsible for and the things you aren’t.
Infinity. I can’t get my head round it.
This morning, in a really great conversation with my dad.
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