I was really vulnerable right before I left the coach, and I said to him, 'Are you still going to love me if I don't win this thing?'

When I was in Beijing, London, and also in Rio I was still a kid really, I didn't feel pressure. Now I'm a 26 year old woman. Being a lot older I feel those expectations. And it's definitely hard on my shoulders, to the extent where in training I'm ok but in competitions I panic, and I do stupid things. Working with [my psychologist], at these Games one of the things I'm proud of is I didn't have any panics. I was so happy about that - I went out and raced and enjoyed it.

Oh ya, I doubted more than expected. I had doubts all the time. The way was extremely, extremely difficult. … At one point I had to describe what I am doing to a person who is a great intellectual but not a scientist, and I told him what we felt is that we are climbing mountains in order to reach the climax – and these mountains are like the Everest, the biggest most difficult to climb – only to find out that there is another mountain waiting behind it to be climbed afterwards. So every climbing was an achievement but there was a bigger problem behind it or above it. I had lots of minutes that I didn't expect, but I thought science in general and this science particularly is worth the effort – even if we would never get the ultimate result.

My favorite method is stopping everything for a moment. It’s amazing how difficult I find it these days to simply sit quietly.

My soon-to-be ex-wife, Amanda. I wish I’d been able to do whatever would have been necessary all the way back to keep us as a unit. Probably the worst thing I did was not tell her how miserable I was, certain that I could turn this around somehow.

Mostly the pain. I don’t want to be trapped in a body that hurts.

Imaginative, dull, amiable.

The idiocy of going to Skye from New Zealand in April 2020. All of a sudden, I’m turning on the news and hearing myself as an item. I have never been more mortified.

The only job I quit was, aged about 23, subediting a “men’s” magazine. My job was typing out readers’ pornographic fantasies. I started wishing people would reproduce by splitting down the middle.

As someone who left the world slightly more interesting than he found it.