Originally asked
The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A
The Guardian's long-running Q&A repeatedly asks this standing question, with minor tense variation.
You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.
The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 28 July 2018 source ↗
A comedy gig at an army barracks for thousands of angry, horny squaddies just back from six months in the desert. I was on straight after the stripper.
A movie called The Return that was about cows from outer space.
A shoot with a showbusiness icon who I’d loved all my life and shall remain nameless. She walked into the room and immediately said she hated everything. Things went downhill from there. Rough day.
A lot of awful gigs. You can’t become a successful comedian without dying on your arse more times than you can remember.
Ten years ago, I went to visit my dad in Australia. I walked to the edge of a cliff and looked over and tripped. I righted myself but my head was over the edge. No one saw it.
I didn’t learn to be intimate with people until I was in my 20s, so I was a very bad friend in my teens. There was a girl I was best friends with at college; I always used to kiss the boys she liked. I’d like to apologise to her.
My A-level results - I got two Cs and an A. I had applied to do philosophy at Cambridge, and thought my life was over.
To be looked at.
Nothing – I don’t like music. I want my funeral to be uncomfortably quiet.
I would be a bit nicer to myself.
Cheryl Strayed, Irvine Welsh, Viv Albertine, Rose Tremain, Siri Hustvedt, Greg James
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