I thought that I had lost for a reason, and I thought that I was a little unseasoned and immature, and I had — the way I made decisions my first term, I got a lot done, but I was better at doing what I wanted to do than listening to other people about what they thought I should be doing or how they thought I ought to be doing it.

Deplore is a heavy word. I don’t deplore it but I constantly feel the pull of my old Midwestern ways of eating. Boy, can I put some pancakes away.

I can go for weeks without opening the mail. I can look at a letter that has just dropped through the letterbox, wonder what it is and then just shred it.

I have a horrible capacity to be unctuous to people I want to impress.

I could have done without being sexually assaulted, or having an eating disorder, or pushing myself to breaking point, but every chapter of my life brought me here.

A comedy gig at an army barracks for thousands of angry, horny squaddies just back from six months in the desert. I was on straight after the stripper.

People who barge into a lift instead of standing aside for anyone exiting should be dipped in kerosene and fired into the sun.

In the one photo I’ve seen where my smile looks convincing – I’m four years old, so I’m guessing then. But I just won a Bafta and that felt amazing, too. So, roughly every 40 years.

I’ve never been upgraded on a plane.

When my cold toes drain the heat from his warm ones, but he doesn’t mind at all and is happy for our tarsal temperatures to meet in the middle.